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The experience was similar for content creator Katie Snooks, who announced her split from her fiancé one month after it happened. “He was very prominent in my YouTube videos and Instagram posts when we were together,” she recalls. “Once our relationship broke down and he suddenly disappeared from my content, I was visibly very low in the videos I was putting out. So I filmed a ‘we broke up’ video for my YouTube channel.” Wanting to be honest with her followers was one motivator, as was closure. “Selfishly, I just didn’t want to have to talk about it again,” she explains. Social media influencer or not, as more of us share our lives with people online, perhaps it’s only natural that we’d post about a break-up, much like we might a promotion or a lifestyle change. “It could be seen as an aspect of the ‘announcement culture’ we see operating on social media,” says clinical psychologist Marc Hekster. “While it may not generate likes, it may generate attention or even sympathy.”
The one catch in all this, though, is where everyone’s exes come into it. What’s the etiquette of posting about your break-up online? Do you need to ask your ex’s permission? And what if they react negatively to the announcement? “I called him the night before I posted it, and asked if it was okay,” says Van De Peer. “We laughed about it, and he said it was absolutely fine.” Snooks did the same. “He didn’t want to watch the video but I got the impression he was happy I was announcing it as it meant he could start dating without people thinking he was still in a relationship with me,” she explains. For Smart, her ex simply wasn’t part of the equation. “We all go through tough times, low moments, and have our hearts broken,” she says. “I don’t think there’s any shame in sharing that journey online if it can help others going through something similar. As hesitant as I was to post the update, I am so pleased I did because it has brought more depth and value to my content, and consequently brought me closer to my followers.”
The Watcher is bad, Dahmer is worse, but there are still a number of great Netflix series inspired by true stories that are worth your time. Here, Vogue rounds up seven of the best to watch as the nights close in. Margaret Qualley and her real-life mother, Andie MacDowell, star in this Netflix hit, loosely inspired by Stephanie Land’s memoir Maid: Hard Work, Low Pay, and a Mother’s Will to Survive. The story centers on Alex (Qualley) as she takes on backbreaking cleaning jobs in Washington State while trying to get out of an abusive relationship with her boyfriend. Further complicating matters: her bipolar mother, Paula (MacDowell), another domestic violence survivor who needs constant attention, and Alex’s daughter, Maddy, whom the courts may take away unless she can prove herself financially stable (no mean feat when you’re being paid $10 an hour). Still, this is ultimately an uplifting watch, even as it highlights the gross inadequacies of the welfare system.
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